San Francisco 49ers linebacker Aldon Smith (99) on the bench against the Green Bay Packers during the fourth quarter at Candlestick Park. The San Francisco 49ers defeated the Green Bay Packers 34-28. Mandatory Credit: Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports
(USA TODAY) -- Three unlikely characters - an elderly drug mule and two Orthodox rabbis made the headlines in a bad way this week:
1. 89-year-old drug mule pleads guilty: Leo Sharp was your typical 80-something retiree, splitting time between his place in Indiana and a property in Florida where he grew his beloved lilies. And then, of course, there was the occasional cross-country drive with hundreds of pounds of cocaine for a powerful Mexican cartel. The 89-year-old pleaded guilty this week.
2. Rabbis accused in kidnap, torture plot: It sounds like the premise of a bad movie or a worse joke: A Jewish husband won't agree to a divorce, so a couple of tough rabbis make him an offer he can't refuse. FBI agents arrested two rabbis today and accused them of plotting to kidnap and torture a man in order to force him to agree to a religious divorce. It may not have been their first such job.
3. Clerk with machete chases off armed robber: In a move police strongly recommend others don't try to emulate, a machete-wielding clerk chased a would-be armed robber out of a Long Island deli-even after the suspect fired a warning shot from his handgun. Surveillance video caught it all.
4. NFL linebacker faces gun charges: Embattled 49ers star Aldon Smith has been charged with three counts of illegally possessing assault weapons, stemming from a party-turned-shootout at his San Jose-area abode last year. Smith himself ended up getting stabbed in the melee.
5. Cops: Driver leads chase so he can finish Big Mac: Talk about a Mac Attack: Ohio police say a driver who initially refused to pull over explained that he just wanted to finish his Big Mac. Coincidentally, he also had a blood-alcohol level three times the legal limit.
For more crazy crimes visit Newser, a USA TODAY content partner providing general news, commentary and coverage from around the Web. Its content is produced independently of USA TODAY.